i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
