threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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