his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
