I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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