she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
