Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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