So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm too high and old for this...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
