i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
