I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
