Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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