well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
