We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
