Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
