There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
