its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
