Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
