we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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