Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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