I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
