You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
