he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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