??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think my fart just growled at me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
