why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
