remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
