Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
