Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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