if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
