Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
