So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Cover your peen. We're going out.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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