I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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