oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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