we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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