Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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