I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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