the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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