Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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