$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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