You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
