fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
