Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Farmville is her only friend.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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