Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
