Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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