What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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