I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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