oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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