Ambien. No doubt about it.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
