i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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