And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
