I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
