Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
As shirtless as possible
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
