I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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