Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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